Si Klegg, Book 4 Read online

  CHAPTER II. THE BALKY MULES

  SUGGESTIONS GALORE "SHELBYVILLE ONLY 18 MILES AWAY."

  NEVER was there so wild a storm but there was a wilder one; never such adownpour of rain but there could be a greater deluge.

  "Seemed to me yesterday," said Si, on the morning of June 25, as hevainly tried to peer through the dashing drench and locate some of theother regiments of the division, "that they was givin' us one of Noah'sDeluge days that they'd happened to have left over. Seemed that itcouldn't be no worse, but this beats it. I don't think that standin'under Niagara Falls could be no worse. Howsomever, this can't last long.There ain't water enough in the United States to keep this up a greatwhile."

  "Don't be so sure o' that," said Shorty, handing Si the end of ablanket, that he might help wring it out. "I believe the Lord sometimesthinks that He didn't divide the land and water jest right in the firstplace, and that He'd better 've made a big lake o' Tennessee instead o'these old clay knobs for rebels and niggers to roost on, and He startsin to carry out that idee. I wish He'd finish the job at once, and turnthe whole blasted region over to the navy. It looks as if He had that inmind now."

  "Well," said the ever-hopeful Si, "the Bible says that the rain fallson the just and unjust alike. If it's tough on us, it's jest as toughon them. Their guns wouldn't go off any better'n ours yesterday. If thatregiment in front of us could've shot like they can on a dry day they'd've made a sick time for us."

  About 60,000 Union soldiers and 45,000 rebels struggled through thedeluges of rain, the torrential streams and fathomless mud those Junedays, when it seemed that every water-gate of the heavens was wide openas it had never been before.

  The calamity that Si and Shorty had foreseen came about. The 200th Ind.lost the advance of the brigade and brought up the rear, which meant along day of muscle-straining, temper-wrecking struggles with stallingwagons, discouraged mules and stupid teamsters. And as Co. Q was theleft of the regiment, it caught the worst of all.

  The 200th Ind. had scarcely pulled out of camp when its troubles becameacute. At the foot of the hill which had been carried the day beforeran a brook, ordinarily quite a modest stream, but now raging like amill-race. The two other regiments of the brigade and all of the 200thInd. but Co. Q had managed to get across by means of trees which hadbeen felled over the stream at various places. Co. Q was left behind tosee that the teams got over, while the rest of the 200th Ind. was haltedon the farther bank, to watch the operation and give help if needed. Si,with a squad in which was Shorty, was ordered to take the first team,which it happened Groundhog drove, down into the stream and start itacross.

  "Now, be very careful with that wagon," called the Adjutant across thestream. "That has the Headquarters' things and papers. Don't let anywater get into the bed. Cross at the shallowest place."

  Si and Shorty found some poles, and prodded around as well as they wereable in the crossing to find the shallowest place. If there was a partso shallow that the bed could be kept above water it was very narrow,and would require exceedingly skillful driving to keep on it. The wholeregiment stood around, like a barnyard full of turkeys on a wet day, andlooked on with an air of soppy melancholy.

  "Groundhog," said Si, approaching that function ary, "was you watchin'carefully while me and Shorty was pickin' out the shallow places?"

  "Naw," answered he, insolently; "wasn't watchin' nothin' but my mules.Got enough to do takin' keer o' them, without watchin' a couple o' foolsprojeckin' around with poles in a mud-hole. No sense in it, nohow. Wenever kin git acrost that 'ere tail-race. Only thing to do is to go backinto camp till it quits rainin' and the water runs out."

  "Groundhog," said Si resolutely, "you're not goin' back to camp; you'renot goin' to wait till it stops rainin'. You're goin' right over now, assure as my name's Si Klegg, or I'll break every bone in your karkiss."

  "I can't go over," persisted Groundhog. "I ain't no fool. I know betterwhat kin be done with an army wagon and six mules than any Injiannygaloot that ever wore stripes or shoulder-straps. You simply can't git awagon acrost that branch, and I ain't goin' to try."

  "Groundhog," said Shorty, "you've bin itchin' to be killed for at leasta year, that I know of probably as long as you've lived. You ought'vehad a stone tied to your neck and bin flung into the crick as soon's youwas born. I've promised myself a good many times that I'd about murderyou when ever I had time, but something's always made me neglect it. I'min the killin' mood to-day, and I'd like to begin on you. I certainlywill unless you drive that team straight acrost, and don't git a drop o'water in the bed o' the wagon."

  "Come, hurry up, over there," shouted the Adjutant. "We can't wait allday. What's the matter with you? Get a move on you."

  "All right, sir; we'll start at once, sir," said Si with ostentatiousalacrity.

  Shorty slapped his bayonet on, and brought the point very nearGroundhog's abdomen. "I'll jab this thing clean through you in a holyminute, you pusillanimous basswood cullin'; you pestiferous pile o'pizen, rotten punk," he said savagely. "Git on your wheel-mule andgether up the lines."

  Impelled by this, and the vigorous clutch of Si upon his collar,Groundhog climbed clumsily into the saddle and sullenly brandished hiswhip.

  The mules made a start and went down the bank, but at the edge of theturbid torrent the leaders set their legs as stiffly as if they were thesupports of a sawhorse. They did not make a sound, but somehow theother four understood, with electric suddenness, and their legs set likeposts.

  "Jest as I expected," said Groundhog, with a grunt of satisfaction;"they've balked for all day, an' you can't git 'em to move another footif you killed 'em. They're as solid as if they'd growed there."

  With an air of having encountered the irresistible, he started to getout of his saddle.

  "Stay in there, confound you," said Shorty, prodding him with hisbayonet. "Lick them mules. Make 'em start."

  "'Bout as much use in lickin' a white-oak stump," said Groundhog, plyingthe whip viciously as a relief to his feelings. "You kin lick every inchof skin off 'em, and they won't move no more'n a gravestone."

  "Start those mules along. Stop fooling,' said the Adjutant impatiently.

  "We can't start 'em. They're balkin', sir," said Si desperately.

  "Nonsense, nonsense," said the Adjutant. "Come ahead. Don't you seeyou're stopping the Second Brigade and all its teams?"

  The men of the Second Brigade were already swarming across on the logs,while looking backward Si and Shorty could see the road filling upwith teams. They ran down to the lead mules and caught them by thebridles and tried to pull them ahead. They might as well have pulled atthe giant sycamore trees growing along the banks.

  Everybody now began to take an interest in the affair. It is one of thedelightful peculiarities of human nature that everybody knows better howto manage a balky horse or mule than the unfortunate man who is tryingto.

  "Stop whippin' them mules. You only make them wuss," shouted one manauthoritatively. "Tie stones to their tails."

  "Tie a string around their ears," shouted another. "That'll be sure tostart 'em."

  "Bite their ears, you fools. Don't you know nothin' about mules? Bitetheir ears, I tell you," shouted a man from Indianapolis.

  "Throw some hot water on 'em."

  "Tie their feet and tails together with a string."

  "Build a fire under 'em."

  "Turn the harness around the other way on 'em."

  "Blindfold 'em."

  Then the regimental humorists began to get in their work:

  "Sing 'em the 'Battle Cry o' Freedom.'"

  "They've struck for more grub. Promise 'em double rations till we get toShelbyville."

  "Stop swearin', there, you fellers. You've frozen 'em stiff with yourbad language. Pray with 'em."

  "Read them the Emancipation Proclamation."

  "Call 'em pet names. You can do anything with kindness. Even a mule has,a heart."

  "Bring up the band and serenade 'em."

  Shorty was rag
ing around the team, kicking and striking first at onemule and then at another, and swearing like a pirate, alternately at theteam and then at the jeering crowds. Si was following suit to the bestof his ability, but his pious education had left him out of sightof Shorty when it came to using language that the occasion seemed tojustify. He had, however, yanked Groundhog out of the saddle and drivenhim up the bank, where he sat down and grinned at the confusion whichhad overtaken his enemies.

  Setting a man at the head of each mule to coax and encourage him, andthe rest of the company to pushing and prying on the wagon, Si hadmounted the wheel-mule himself and put forth his mule-knowledge in onefeverish effort, which was as futile as it was desperate, for the mulesdid not seem to change their positions for a rest, even, when the wagonwas forced forward on them.

  A very dapper young Aid, fresh from West Point, and with that highappreciation for himself that can only be acquired at the United StatesMilitary Academy, galloped up, sternly ordering everybody to make wayfor him, and,

  "Present the compliments of the Major-General commanding the division,and what the h--'s the matter?"

  "Capt. McGillicuddy, to whom the young gentle man had been referred asin charge, said quietly:

  "You see: A mule-team has balked and stopped everything. We're doing ourbest to start them, but so far without success."

  "So we all perceive," said the young man superciliously. "Why are younot down there directing them?"

  "The men that I have down there thoroughly understand mules, and aredoing their very utmost. They are having, as you can see, a superfluityof advice which is not helping them. I can best help by letting themalone to work it out their own way. They will do all that men can."

  "I shall report the case to the General," said the Aid, withscarcely-concealed insolence. "Just like these confounded volunteers,"he said as he turned away, taking no pains to keep the Captain fromoverhearing. "Never will be genuine soldiers in the world. Here, mymen," continued he, riding over to the wagon, "stir yourselves lively,now, and start these wagons along. I want no more fooling, and won'thave it. Start, now."

  Shorty had the usual volunteer dislike to young West Pointers; likethe rest of the men he cordially hated and ridiculed the young and airystaff officers, whether from West Point or not. It irritated him to seethe youngster's treatment of his Captain. Saying snappy things at andabout the Captain was a privilege jealously reserved to members of thecompany. To have anybody outside abuse the Captain was an insult to beresented. Above all, his American soul rose in wrath at the patronizing"my men." He would not have been at all offended at one of his ownrough-and-ready officers jumping in and distributing curses on allhands, but "my men" was too much for him.

  Without appearing to notice the presence of the Aid, Shorty walked up tothe lead-mule, gave him a tremendous kick in the ribs, and sung out in atone loud enough to be heard across the roaring branch:

  "You pernickety pile o' poll-evil; you hee-hawin' graduate o' WestPoint; you pin-feathered, taller-faced, pop-eyed, lantern-jawed,loud-mouthed Second Lieutenant, you, won't you git up?"

  The other boys began to catch on and grin. The Aid's face flushed, butShorty continued his loud objurgations at the mule:

  "You misbegotten pill o' perdition; you pompous, puddin'-headed staffofficer; you miserable errand-boy for the General, puttin' on more airsthan the General; you half-hatched officer, runnin' around yit with theshell on your head, and pretendin' to be cock-o'-the-walk, won't you gitup?"

  Even the Aid began to understand the drift of Shorty's remarks by thistime, and Capt. McGillicuddy called out warningly:

  "Shorty! Shorty!"'

  Si looked in amazement at this new development of his partner's genius.The officers and men on the other side of the branch seemed to haveforgotten for the moment the annoyance of the balked team in enjoymentof Shorty's outburst.

  "Why under heaven they put such murrain cattle as you in the army Ican't tell," he continued with another savage kick in the mule's side."You only take up room from your betters. You don't fight, you onlystrut like a turkey-cock, and eat and he-haw. Now, will you git up?"

  The Aid could not fail to understand now. He burst out in a torrentof rage: "You infernal scoundrel," he shouted, forcing his horse upto Shorty; "I'll have you shot for insubordination, for insulting andmutinous language to your superior officer."

  "I wasn't sayin' nothin' to you," said Shorty, looking up with an air ofsurprise. "I hain't had nothin' to do with you. I was cussin' this otherpiebald pilgarlic from West Point; this other pig headed pickaninny o'the Regular Army; this Brevet-Second Lieutenant o' the Quartermaster'sDepartment, and Aid on the staff o' Gen. Groundhog. You ain't mysuperior officer, nohow."

  "Corporal," shouted the Aid to Si, "take this rascal up there on thebank and buck-and-gag him. Do it at once."

  "I don't believe you have the right to give me orders, sir," said Sirespectfully. "I am under Capt. McGillicuddy's orders."

  "You are right, Corporal," said Capt. McGillicuddy, stepping forward."Lieutenant, you cannot order one of my men to be punished. You have noright to command here. You are merely to convey the General's orders tothose who are in command."

  "I have the right to give orders. I represent the General, and speak inhis name, and I order that man to be bucked-and-gagged," reiterated theAid in a flame of anger. "I'll see that it is done. I shall not be soinsulted before the whole army. It will destroy all discipline."

  "Fortunately, the discipline of the army does not depend on the respectshown Second Lieutenants," Capt. McGillicuddy could not help saying. "Ifyou have any complaint to make against one of my men, state it to me,their Captain, or to the Colonel of the regiment. We are the persons,not you, to deal with them."

  The men around understood; nothing pleased them better than to see abumptious young Aid sat down upon, and they were outspoken in theirdelight.

  "I shall report you to the General, and have you court-martialed," saidthe Aid, shaking his fist at Capt. McGillicuddy. "I shall!"

  "Mr. Farwell," said the Chief of Staff, riding up, "why haven't youreported to the General as to the trouble here? We've been waiting foryou."

  "Here," came the clear-cut tones of the Colonel across the branch; "nouse of wasting any more time on those mules. They're there to stay.Unhitch them, fasten on a picket-rope, and we'll pull the wagon acrossfrom this side."

  Everybody sprang to execute this order, but Si and Shorty's hands hadnot reached the traces when an idea seemed to shoot simultaneouslythrough each of the six mules, and with one impulse they plunged ahead,directly into the swollen waters.

  Si and Shorty sprang back toward their heads to guide them over thenarrow crossing. But the mules seemed to take the right course byinstinct, and landed the wagon safely on the other side, without aparticle of water entering the bed. Everybody cheered, and Si and Shortylooked as if their minds had been relieved of a terrible load.

  "Si," said Shorty, with a tinge of weariness in his tone, "they say itis about 18 miles from here to Shelbyville."

  "Somethin' like that," answered Si.

  "I think there are about three o' these cricks to every mile. Do youreally suppose we'll be able to git there before our three years is up?"

  "All depends on the mules," answered Si cheerily. "If this sudden spello' goodness holds out we may get there before evening."